Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Elite Comics has a website!

Yes, we finally did it.  We have rushed head long into the 1990's and started a website.

You can keep up on events, see lots of pictures, read blogs and revues and keep in contact with us.   The best part is we have partnered with comixology.com to start managing subscriptions online!

All you have to do is follow the link on the wbsite to the comixology site, fill out the info and link it to Elite Comics.  We will get all your subscription information and we will both get e-mailed your weekly list!

Stop by and take a look at the site (designed by our own Gabe Dorsey) and let me kow what you think.

www.elite-comics.com

Monday, November 30, 2009

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Most quotable movies ever. A list in no order.

1. Big Lebowski-
"The Dude abides."
"Evidently you're not a golfer."
"Mark it fucking zero Dude!"
"Nobody fucks with the Jesus!"
"Do you have to use so many swear words, Dude?"
"That rug really tied the room together."
"Shut the fuck up, Donnie!"
"The bulk of the series."
and about 1000 more

2. Blazing Saddles-
"Somebody go back to town and get a shit-load of dimes!"
"Dancin' around like a bunch a Kansas City faggots!"
"They said you was hung!" "and they was right!"
"I didn't get a harumph outta that guy."
"We offer this laurell, and hearty welcome."
"Mongo straight."
"Where the white women at?"
and about 1000 more

3. Ghost Busters-
"So she's a dog ."
"I'm going to miss him!"
"It's true, this man has no dick."
"Nice shootin' Tex!"
" When some one asks if you're a god you say Yes!"
"It's technical, one of our little toys."
"Tell him about the twinkie."
and about 1000 more

What is your favorite quote movie?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

From the offices of Wizard Magazine

This may or may not be the first time you're seeing this item, but we at Elite Comics feel it's important that all comic book fans be privy to this news. The following internal memo from Wizard Magazine was leaked by someone inside the publication who has asked that their identity remain secret.  Given the fact that the Wizard "staff" now consists of roughly three freelancers and a dog-eared copy of Previews catalog, it shouldn't be too difficult to determine the source.

To:  Staff

Re:  New format

Many of you have recently questioned the idea behind our new format.  It's simple.  Rather than try to compete with the internet, we will be taking a page, if you will, from their playbook.  It's so much easier to create a list of items, rather than researching and writing a legitimate article.  To this end, we will henceforth be numbering the "articles" in our publication from 1 to 40.  Don't worry.  No single article will have any more significance than any other; the numbers will be entirely arbitrary.

We will, of course, continue in our endeavors to produce an entire publication devoid of any opinion.  Our goal in continually remaining positive about even the most questionable of projects is never to alienate a potential guest for our conventions.  As you well know, the featured guests for the upcoming Toronto show include Eliza Dushku and one of the polar bears from the television show, Lost.  The polar bear may or may not be a last minute cancellation dependent upon prior Coca Cola-related holiday commitments.

Dushku's a lock.

Despite our decreased page count, our writers may still struggle to come up with new and unique stories on a monthly or bi-weekly basis.  Our solution:  stop trying.  Please refer to the latest edition of Previews catalog (see second floor men's room).  They're more than happy for us to do a full-page spread for an upcoming statue or hardcover collection.  Just be sure to include the requisite three lines of text to accompany photo reproduction.

From this point on, we will no longer be featuring the extensive price guide for which we're known, but please do nothing to devalue CGC-graded titles in the eyes of our readers.  By now, we all know they're utterly meaningless, but that doesn't mean we want to broadcast it to the general populace.

Should we ever be straddling the line between legitimate magazine and fanzine due to page count, please feel free to call Jason Aaron.  He is currently the only professional in comic books nice enough to always return our calls.  Either that, or we can once again raid Bendis' Twitter posts.

Good luck and God bless.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Must Have Titles for Wednesday, November 4th



Doom Patrol #4 is the title you'll need to purchase in order to get this week's ring from Blackest Night.


















Thursday, October 15, 2009

Rainbow Fight Club-GL Edition

Rule #1- Do not talk about Rainbow Fight Club.

Rule  #2- If tonight is your first Rainbow Fight Club, you gotta dance.

Rule #3- Buy all the Blackest Night tie-ins and get a set of Lantern Rings for yourself!


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Poll Results: Was the Disney Marvel Purchase a Good Idea?

44% of the voters said yes, Disney's purchase of Marvel was a good idea. 11% say no. And, finally, the remaining 44% think that the end results remain to be seen. All we know for certain is that we can't wait for Pixar to get involved. Anybody else want to see an Avengers animated movie?

Monday, October 12, 2009

Feeling better about the Chiefs.

OK, I know, the Cowboys are not very good, and they had a couple of key injuries, but the Chiefs actually looked like a team just a few players away from being a winner.  Dorsey, Mayes, Flowers, Hali, Waters, Bowe and Cassell all looked like legit winning team NFL players. With a better line Johnson is a keeper plus Wade and Ryan look to be good steady starters.  It's not yet a winning combo but it is a core to start from.

I think Haley has mellowed just a bit and is starting to find his groove in the head coach job.  I still wish he had an offensive coordinator on his staff, but that might happen for next year.  I think if he and Gailey were not on the same page it was best for the team to let him go.  I will note that the four teams who got rid of their offensive coordinators in the pre-season have not done too well so far.

It makes me sick to think of all the talent the Chiefs let go in the past few years, Jerrod Allen being the most painful.  I do think the Pioli/Haley regime will at least be better judges of talent than Carl and Herm.  Even though they seem to be a bit on the egomaniac side ,I think they pale compared to King Carl.  I hope they never loose a good player because they want to prove how hard they are, like Carl did several times in the past.

It was nice to be watching a game and have the Chiefs still in it a the end, even forcing over-time.  I hope we will be watching them win a few soon. I think it would to  a world of good for the Haley lead team to win one under his system.

On a interesting fantasy note, I would have scored more points starting Cassell over Flacco the past two weeks.  Each week two touchdowns and no pics.  And if Cassell had the Ravens line and Defense....

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Blogs you need to read!

This is just a quick list of blogs of note from members of the Elite crew.

EDGEWISE
This is the review/preview blog of our own Justin Cline.  Want to find out about an awesome new novel or the best new comic series? Justin will get you the inside scoop.  How about the best new movie trailers?  Hot new TV shows?  Justin is your source.

SHEPHERD
This is the blog where you can read Justin's new novel, one chapter at a time. I have read the first few chapters, this baby will keep you on the edge of your seat.

A Bowl of Fantastic
A Bowl of Fantastic is the very cool blog of the one and only Rav Powell.  Rav has it all music, comics, movies, TV, sports, food, business- you name it!  Rav is why I don't need the internet on my cell phone, I have his number! It's quicker, more accurate  and much more fun the get the pop culture facts via Rav! Plus, after reading his blog your breakfast cereal knowledge will explode!

jasonaaron.info
This is your way to keep up on the hottest writer in comics our own Jason Aaron!  You'll be able to find out what he has coming out and when and maybe get a peek inside the scary corners of his mind!

FROM THE BLEACHERS
This is the blog of Elites resident sports freak, Ric ( no K!) Gallaway.  Ric is maybe the only person on Earth with more sports trivia kicking around in his head than Rav.  Ric is our own Obscure Sports Quarterly.  Sure he'll talk about the Chiefs and Royals, but he'll also keep you up with Arena ball and amateur curling!

Give these guys a read, you won't want to miss a post!

Monday, September 28, 2009

How to Fix the TV Show Dollhouse.

Easy.

Tyler Perry's
Joss Whedon's
Dollhouse.

Elisha Dushku still gets to be mostly naked on all the promo posters but Tyler Perry takes over the main character who plays a different person each week.

Poll Results: Which Lantern Color Are You?


Green, blue, and red have tied with 25% of the vote each. Black, indigo, and sapphire each received 8%. And it looks like no Republicans voted because orange was a no-show. Next time, you need to participate, too, you greedy bastards.

If you'll look to your right, this week's poll has already begun.  Was the Disney purchase of Marvel a good idea?  Weigh in with your opinion, and let's fill up that comments area.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Surrogates- How I knew it would suck without seeing it.

The basic premise is that people use idealized robotic versions of themselves to act out in the world.

So the human Bruce Willis character looks like Bruce Willis, old, haggard, bald. His ideal robot version of himself is younger, shaves more often and has a $7 toupe?

Come on people, details matter! The idealized robot version of William is not going to be slightly thinner with a smaller bald spot.

Bad toupe, bad movie. Just saved you $10, $40 with concessions.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Couples Retreat-Snap Revue

Couples Retreat is kind of a romantic comedy, but, it's actually funny. Unlike most romantic comedies the couples actually have some real world problems. I guess people eat them up, but, these romantic comedies where the people have problems like two extremely handsome, wealthy, dashing men with nothing but time want to marry the starlet and she just can't make up her mind are so boring.

Vince Vaughn and his wife have a lack of time together issue, like lots of people do. Another couple got married really young and never got to have a wild and free youth. The couple who arrange the retreat are both type A maniacs who over analyze their life, and the last couple is a newly divorced guy and his much younger rebound girlfriend, who insists on calling him Daddy, 'like she does all her boyfriends'.

As a bonus all the wives are pretty hot and spend much of the movie in bikinis.

One down side is, I think there were some missed chances at some funny but adult humor that they by passed to keep a PG -13 rating. Because you know how much kids love a good marriage therapy movie. You remember when you were 12 and you could so relate to the 40 year old couple who were so busy with kids and work they didn't make time for each other.

Over all I thought the movie was pretty funny and worth the price of admission, though, I saw it at a sneak preview for free, so it didn't have to blow my socks off.

Monday, September 21, 2009

What is up with the Chiefs?

How do you lose a football game to a team who's quarterback completed seven passes? SEVEN! I nearly climbed out of my skin when Haley went to the Marty prevent defense during the last 2 minutes of the game. The thing that kept Russell off his meager game was the blitz, and you stop doing that during the last 2 minutes? Come on Todd, you're a bossy, a-hole jerk, don't add pussy to the list!

I think Cassell showed some promise. Sure he threw a couple of interceptions, Brett Favre throws 2-5 per game. I blame some of his problems on the fact that he is always on the run because the line is pretty darn iffy. There can be no down field threat when the QB has 2 seconds to get rid of the ball, no one is that fast.

I think the team was in much worse shape then we were led to believe by the past regime. When you cut 31 of last years 53 man roster and 3 of them get NFL jobs things are bad, really bad. It takes more than a new QB to fix that kind of bad. It also takes much more than a tough guy attitude from the head coach. For one, you have to manage the clock better than he did in the last few seconds of the first half of the Raiders game. Secondly, his proving he is the king dick of the school yard by keeping some of the best players on the bench (Derrick Johnson), during what turned out to be the winning drive by the Raiders, is just a silly.

Here's to 15 more weeks of very painful growing pains with the Kansas City Chiefs. Thank goodness for fantasy football.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

My Step Dad's a Freakin' Vampire Screening!

Local movie maker David Matheney is having a screening of his latest movie "My Step Dad's A Freakin Vampire" on the opening night of the Kansas International Film Festival this Thursday September 17th. Dave and a bunch of the cast will be there, and so will a bunch of us from Elite Comics. I have a few tickets at the shop and they are available at the Glenwood Arts Theater, in Metcalf South Shopping Center, for a mere $5! Show your love to a local boy-done-good and come check out the movie. See you there!

Fantasy Football-Week One/One Win!

The Elite Comics Fantasy Football Fandango started off with a bang. My team scored over 137 points! Jones-Drew proved to be worth the first pick and all my wide receivers had good games. Even Moss, in that abomination of a game against the Bills, got some good points. Moss won the league for me two years ago with 25 TD's, so I have a little soft spot for him.

Adrian Peterson needs to be in a category by himself, he and Drew Brees are fantasy point machines. 180 yards and three touch downs for Peterson and SIX passing touch downs for Brees, incredible.

These head coaches need to get out their injury list earlier. They think they are psyching out the other team but really they are just making the fantasy nation crazy! Every guy in our league was online a couple of minutes before kick-off trying to switch their line-ups with the last second injury reports.

If only I would have started Flacco over Palmer, but who knew the Ravens were gong to throw this year? Maybe it was a versus-the-Chiefs thing only.

By the way, I LOVE the Monday night double header. Monday Night Football at bowling and three more hours after bowling!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

I Love You, Man-snap revue

Just finished I Love You, Man starring my old hommie Paul Rudd.  I don't think Rudd is getting the juice he deserves.  The dude is funny and he has acting chops.  Plus I damn near swallowed my tongue when he projectile barfed on the Fav. 

It is really cool to see Paul making it big.  I knew him back in the old days (the first time the ridiculous 80's fashion happened) and he seems like the same regular, funny guy he was back then.  I remember when he did an entire Gary Shandling stand-up act for a Forensics class, but his version was funny. 

If you get a chance, give the movie a shot.  It has a bunch of funny bits, a decent script and the second best Canadian export ever, RUSH!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Disney to buy Marvel Comics-Wolverine to Frighten Mouseketeers!

That's right.  The House of Ideas, The House That Jack Built, Marvel Your Universe is going to be part of the Disney Empire.  The nerdiverse is all a twitter (that was a word before you began to twat your followers) with the possibilities.  Will Disney kiddify the Marvel stories?  Will Marvel lose all editorial control?  Will Punisher destroy the Disney Universe?  I think not.

Why would Disney buy Marvel and then try to change everything Marvel is?  Disney has all the money in the world, if they wanted to be heavily involved in comics they could be, and for a lot less than four billion dollars.  I think they see an incredible universe of characters, more than 5000, if you believe the press release, that is not being marketed to it's full potential.  Has ESPN changed since Disney bought them? No, but they did have the money to get Monday Night Football, probably the most valuable property in sports broadcasting.  Has ABC television turned into the Disney Channel? No, they already have a Disney Channel, that is a cash machine.

I think it could be very good for comics.  If Disney uses their powers for good, they could expose a whole new generation to super heroes and comics.  Comics, and comic shops, need a new feeder system to get younger kids interested in comics.  I would love to see dramatically more use of the Marvel Universe.  More animated movies, more theme park attractions, more clothes, toys, school supplies anything the Disney marketers can dream up.  Eventually the smartest and most curious of those exposed to the Marvel characters will wan to read the stories about those characters. 

For all those people on the net who are predicting this is the end of comics as we know them, no, it's not.  Radio, TV, movies, video games, the internet, Seduction of the Innocent, short attention spans, Manga and on and on were all going to be "the end of comic books".  Comics will be around for a good long while, and this Disney purchase might actually help the cause.

  I will remind Disney that with great power comes great responsibility.  We love our Marvel characters.  You better not mess this up.  We the members of E Pluribus Nerdum will come at you, inhalers in hand, Spidey 129 Mylared and acid free boarded,  Wolverine berserker style.  It won't be pretty.

So sing along" who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me?  M-A-R-V-E-L  M-O-U-S-E! Why? because of the money, of course.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

The Art of Seeing Julie and Julia.

Just got back from seeing Julie and Julia.  All right it wasn't my first choice, or second, but it was a really good movie!  It was a little too long, like almost all movies are now days ( I'm talking to you, Jud Apatow) but the acting was dynamite, the script was inventive and it had some really funny moments.  There was even a moment when I got a little teary eyed ( Julie drops a raspberry cream dessert on the streets of Queens, what a waste). 

I had a bit of a problem with Julie's husband.  She kept referring to him as a saint even though a lot of the time he acted like an asshole.  He bitched and moaned about her spending so much time cooking then ate everything she made like he was just rescued from a desert island. 

Meryl Streep was awesome, as usual, but I thought Stanley Tucci's performance was as good as hers. He should get an Oscar nomination as well as the one Meryl Streep will surely get.

I really liked the way they wove the two stories together, but did not make the mistake of trying to tell either one of the characters entire life story.  That's one of the reasons I liked Walk The Line so much, besides the Johnny Cash music.

In the end all I can say is I left the theater happy and hungry.  Though I left Iron Man happy and hungry as well.  And Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and The Reader. crap.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Top Ten Greatest Lyrics Ever Penned ( a growing list in no order)

These are only numbered so that I stopped at ten.  Any of them could be the best.  My criteria for a great lyric is one that as soon as you hear it you wish you wrote it.  And here we go.

10. "Look both ways before you cross me, you're headed for a danger zone." -Jackson 5

9. "Built for comfort, not built for speed, got everything you good girls need."-Howlin' Wolf

8. "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!"- Rage Against The Machine

7. "There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes." -Johnny Cash

6. "I was born by the river, in a little tent, and just like that river I been running ever since."-Sam Cooke

5. "People all over the world, join in, form a Love Train!"- The OJ's

4. "One good thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain."-Bob Marley

3. "I got a crush on you, sweety pie, all the day and night time hear me sigh." -Frank Sinatra

2. "Got me a man named Doctor Feelgood, he takes care of all my pains and my ills."-Aretha Franklin

1. " See that my grave is kept clean."- Son House

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Sequels that Don't Exist

Here is my preliminary list of movies with sequels (or later produced prequels) that don't exist in my mind.

5. Ghostbusters - The original is an all-time classic, the sequel is mediocre. To me there only exists one Ghostbusters movie. I hear there is talk of a third movie where the original cast passes the reins to new busters. Why can't they just let good movies be? I don't want to see Ben Stiller, Seth Rogen and Adam Sandler as the Ghostbusters.


4. Jaws - This is one of the greatest suspense/horror movies ever made. But the shark got blown to bits (in a totally non-reality based manner) at the end of the first movie. Series over. Jaws 2-4 do not exist in my world.


3. Raiders Of The Lost Ark - Original, great. Sequel, decent. Last Crusade, good. Crystal Skull? What is this Crystal Skull you speak of? Does not exist.


2. The Matrix - The original was one of the best sci-fi movies ever. It still has great re-watchability. The camera work and the wire stunts were incredible. Even Keanu Reeves was good, and that takes some doing. The second one had a couple of cool scenes but went nowhere and the third made me want to do a back flip, roundhouse, slow motion, bullet time, computer generated kick to the Wachowski brothers' faces. How can you not know the end of that movie is supposed to be the audience seeing that all the characters we like are still batteries, they never left the pod and the machines win by letting us think we win?


1. Star Wars - The first three movies (episodes 4,5 and 6) are the greatest trilogy of all time. Everything comes together perfectly. I have seen those movies more than 50 times each. Han Solo is the archetype for almost every flawed hero since 1977. Episodes 1, 2 and 3 are the most expensive ads for toys ever produced. 1, 2 and 3 do not exist because they suck and never needed to exist.

Green Lantern Promotional Rings

DC Comics just announced that the full spectrum of Green Lantern Promo Rings are coming to a comic shop near you. The rings are atttached to sales of certain books (all of which are Blackest Night tie-ins), so there may be some hoops for you to jump through in order to get the full set. Each store can only get fifty of each color. The rings begin arriving in November. That gives you two months to become one of my fifty best friends.